It's natural to become bitter, and to wish that somehow, those people could feel the pain they put you through.
But lets face it, they never will.
When someone has the ability to hurt you, they can almost control you- emotionally wise that is.
So think about this, if someone has the ability to hurt you, and chooses to, why are you letting them?
Pull it together, and control yourself. When you can do that, it's amazing how much better things are.
I hit rock bottom, and now, I'm rapidly climbing back up again.
Surround yourself with the people who picked you up when someone else knocked you down.
Do the things that make you smile in place of the things that made you frown.
Live the way you weren't before.
Everyone stresses so much about relying on someone else, and in turn- it happens. With relationships, and friendships. But at the end of the day you're alone; your own opinions, your own influence, your own consequences.
So in the end, if we're left with ourselves- why do we rely so much on the influence, approval, and reliability of someone else?
Don't get me wrong, relying on people can be some of the best things out there. But it's kind of like the difference between a three legged chair, and a three legged dog.
Imagine that the fourth leg of a chair and of a dog represents someone/something in your life.
The three legged chair falls over when they lose one leg, but the three legged dog- he can still stand his own; The chair needs its fourth leg, where as the dog just prefers it.
I think we should all be like the three legged dog.
People always tell us to "forgive and forget"- well that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. How often do we really forget about something?
If someone hurts us, they obviously meant/mean something, thus making them impossible to forget.
I think it's unhealthy to forget things. I'm in no way saying dwell on it, but use it as fuel to change the way you look that something.
I think we should think more in the terms of, "Forgive, free, and fulfill"
Step 1: Forgive: Forgive whoever hurt you. But actually do it. Don't just say, "Ok, I forgive you." or, "I'm over it, lets leave it in the past." You should never forgive someone unless you actually can, it helps no one if you can't really forgive them.
By not forgiving someone, the person it's really hurting most is yourself. Which leads to the next step.
Step 2: Free: Holding a grudge hurts no one but yourself. By forgiving someone, you free yourself of the weight on yours shoulders, and the burdens on your heart.
Once you can free yourself from the anger and bitterness towards someone else, you can finally get to the final step.
Step 3: Fulfill: Basically, live your life to the fullest; hurt free, guilt free, and free spirited.I firmly believe that time heals all things. And I also believe that there are places in your life where you literally don't think things can get any better, and when someone tells you time heals all things, you saying to yourself, "Well why the hell won't time go any faster?"
There is no good advice that anyone can give to someone who's in that place, because if you've been there, no matter what anyone says- it doesn't help.
It's not that you wake up one morning, all better again. It's a time frame of healing.
- A bad day
- A bad day with a few good moments
- A bad day with a few good hours
- A good day with a few bad hours
- A good day with a few bad moments
- A good day
However long it takes you to get to just having a good day- just know you'll get there. Once you do, you'll wonder how you ever were having such a bad day.
We live out lives one way for so long, we don't know how to live it any other way- but with a little transitioning, and a little push- you'll say to yourself, "Wow, I can't believe I was living like that for so long."
When you feel no sort of confident, there will be someone who makes you feel worth while again.
When you feel like nothing, there will be someone who makes you feel like everything again.
When you feel hopeless, there will be someone who makes you feel hopeful again.
When you feel like you're dying inside, there will be someone who makes you feel alive again.
When you feel sad, there will be someone who will make you happy again.
That person is you. When it comes down it, you rescue yourself. Sure, other people help you along the way, but like I said before, at the end of the night, you decide for yourself.
No matter how much you tell an insecure person they are pretty, they won't believe it. Only they can make themselves believe it. Get it?
At the end of the night, you decide whether or not you mean something to the world. Not the magazines and media, not the boy/girl who likes you, not your friends- just you.
It's pretty easy to decide who we are, and be confident in who we are. But where we most struggle with, is when people try to tell us what we aren't.
Not pretty? Not tall? Not skinny? Not blue-eyed? Not in-style? Not tough enough? Not sensitive enough? Well guess what we can say to all those people? Take a look in the f*cking mirror, and tell me that again.
Life is a gift. And despite the negative connotation on Indian giving- be an Indian giver of life. Give yourself the gift of life, and pass it on.
Borrow a dollar, & lend a dollar.
Get hugs, & give hugs.
Cry on a shoulder, & be the shoulder.
Answer a call, & make a call.
Smile back, & smile at.
Be loved, & love.
Be the passenger, & be the driver.
Be helped, & help.
Don't always be the giver, but certainly don't always be the taker. Create equilibrium in your life.
There will always be people hurting us, and we'll always hurt someone. But we can't dwell on it for too long- there's way too much life to live.
Don't feel like you need to forget something happened, or forget someone.
Just forgive them, free yourself, and live fully.
Once we can do that, the sun really does seem to shine a little bit brighter..
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