In our lives, when we've been hurt there's an awful part of us that becomes bitter- and that bitterness is what really keeps us from being happy.
It's natural to become
bitter, and to wish that somehow, those people could
feel the pain they put you through.
But lets face it,
they never will.
When someone has the
ability to hurt you, they can almost control you- emotionally wise that is.
So think about this, if someone has the
ability to hurt you, and
chooses to, why are you letting them?
Pull it together, and
control yourself. When you can do that, it's amazing how much better things are.
I hit
rock bottom, and now, I'm rapidly
climbing back up again.
Surround yourself with the people who
picked you up when someone else
knocked you down.
Do the things that make you
smile in place of the things that made you
frown.
Live the way you
weren't before.
Everyone stresses so much about relying on someone else, and in turn- it happens. With relationships, and friendships. But at the end of the day you're alone; your own
opinions, your own
influence, your own
consequences.
So in the end, if we're left with ourselves- why do we rely so much on the
influence,
approval, and
reliability of someone else?
Don't get me wrong, relying on people can be some of the best things out there. But it's kind of like the difference between a
three legged chair, and a
three legged dog.
Imagine that the fourth leg of a chair and of a dog represents
someone/
something in your life.
The three legged chair
falls over when they lose one leg, but the three legged dog- he can still
stand his own; The chair
needs its fourth leg, where as the dog just
prefers it.
I think we should all be like the three legged dog.
People always tell us to "
forgive and forget"- well that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. How often do we really forget about something?
If someone hurts us, they obviously meant/mean something, thus making them
impossible to forget.
I think it's unhealthy to forget things. I'm in no way saying dwell on it, but use it as
fuel to change the way you
look that something.
I think we should think more in the terms of, "Forgive, free, and fulfill"
Step 1: Forgive: Forgive whoever hurt you. But actually do it. Don't just say, "Ok, I forgive you." or, "I'm over it, lets leave it in the past." You should never forgive someone unless you actually can, it helps no one if you can't really forgive them.
By not forgiving someone, the person it's really hurting most is yourself. Which leads to the next step.
Step 2: Free: Holding a grudge hurts no one but yourself. By forgiving someone, you free yourself of the weight on yours shoulders, and the burdens on your heart.
Once you can free yourself from the anger and bitterness towards someone else, you can finally get to the final step.
Step 3: Fulfill: Basically, live your life to the fullest; hurt free, guilt free, and free spirited.
I firmly believe that
time heals all things. And I also believe that there are places in your life where you literally don't think things can get any better, and when someone tells you time heals all things, you saying to yourself, "
Well why the hell won't time go any faster?"
There is
no good advice that anyone can give to someone who's in that place, because if you've been there, no matter what anyone says-
it doesn't help.
It's not that you
wake up one morning, all
better again. It's a
time frame of healing.
- A bad day
- A bad day with a few good moments
- A bad day with a few good hours
- A good day with a few bad hours
- A good day with a few bad moments
- A good day
However long it takes you to get to just having a good day- just know you'll get there. Once you do, you'll wonder how you ever were having such a bad day.
We live out lives one way for so long, we don't know how to live it any other way- but with a little
transitioning, and a little
push- you'll say to yourself, "
Wow, I can't believe I was living like that for so long."
When you feel no sort of
confident, there will be someone who makes you feel
worth while again.
When you feel like
nothing, there will be someone who makes you feel like
everything again.
When you feel
hopeless, there will be someone who makes you feel
hopeful again.
When you feel like you're
dying inside, there will be someone who makes you feel
alive again.
When you feel
sad, there will be someone who will make you
happy again.
That person is you. When it comes down it,
you rescue yourself. Sure, other people help you along the way, but like I said before, at the end of the night,
you decide for yourself.
No matter how much you tell an insecure person they are pretty, they won't believe it. Only they can make themselves believe it. Get it?
At the end of the night, you decide whether or not you mean something to the world. Not the
magazines and media, not the
boy/girl who likes you, not your
friends- just
you.
It's pretty easy to decide who we are, and be
confident in who we are. But where we most
struggle with, is when people try to tell us
what we aren't.
Not
pretty? Not
tall? Not
skinny? Not
blue-eyed? Not
in-style? Not
tough enough? Not
sensitive enough? Well guess what we can say to all those people?
Take a look in the f*cking mirror,
and tell me that again.
Life is a gift. And despite the negative connotation on Indian giving- be an
Indian giver of life. Give yourself the gift of life, and
pass it on.
Borrow a dollar, &
lend a dollar.
Get hugs, &
give hugs.
Cry
on a shoulder, &
be the shoulder.
Answer a call, &
make a call.
Smile
back, & smile
at.
Be
loved, &
love.
Be the
passenger, & be the
driver.
Be
helped, &
help.
Don't always be the
giver, but certainly don't always be the
taker. Create
equilibrium in your life.
There will always be people hurting us, and we'll always hurt someone. But we can't dwell on it for too long- there's way too much life to live.
Don't feel like you need to forget something happened, or forget someone.
Just
forgive them,
free yourself, and
live fully.
Once we can do that, the sun really does seem to
shine a
little bit brighter..
