Entailing The Way Out, Is Through.

A phase. A time frame. A series of events. Ranging from something small and irrelevant to something tragic and all around life altering.

Our lives are filled with things that challenge us to triumph.

For some reason, by observation and speculation, I have noticed a pattern. One concerning emotion, one I still don't completely understand.

Why do we feel expressing anything other than happiness is taboo? Why do we strive to push down every unsettling emotion to the very depths of ourselves, for no one else to see?

For days, months, maybe even years, we can cast our emotions deep into the labyrinth, bottle it up, and assume all is well.

So many are discomforted by the unperfect sentiments of others. Why? Why do some find themselves at a loss for words? It can in no way be a lack of understanding, for all human beings are capable of all emotion.

We differintiate from animals by our ability to feel and comprehend the whole spectrum of emotion, but for some reason society as a whole shuns anything but "having it all together". So we pretend; we pretend to abide by the ludicrous standards and expectations of society.

We must render our pride and come to realize, without fail, eventually even the strongest break.

I commend those who rebound quickly from their frustrations, betrayals, misfortunes, etc. I pity those who cannot escape theirs.

Now that hopefully you realize it's perfectly normal to have a variety of emotions, how do we deal with the hard ones?

What to do when we find ourselves paralyzed, eyes penetrating for a way out.

My advice, for multiple accounts:

1. Don't set a date to be "over" something. Unnecessary pressure.
2. Have a few good friends, one or two, you can confide in; Who understand you.
3. If talking about whatever your hardship is triggers tears, let it happen. My Mom told me tears are words you can't explain.
4. Deep breaths and count to 10. Surprisingly, it actually works.
5. You will have good and bad days. Take them as they come, the good are good, and the bad will pass.
6. Helping those in need reminds you there will always be someone out there who has it worse.It doesn't make what you're going through easier, but makes you aware someone has it harder.
7. Make a list of things that are going well in your life. A reminder not all is lost.
8. When things are out of your control, stop being so hard on yourself.
9. Appreciate what you have, while you have it. Don't wait for it to be gone to realize that.
10. Consider you're well being then, and now.
11. Pray.

I intend not to insinuate hardships in one's life are not in fact, hard. Nor do I believe I understand all suffering.

My life has been indeed blessed in numerous ways, I never doubt that for a second.

Recent happenings left me questioning myself, doubting people and searching for something to make it all go away.

Wrapping up the last day of a rough week, I figured there was no way out, just through. I could stay where I was, making no progress while I waited around for the result I wanted and half the time expected, cheating myself; or I could take a deep breath and move forward.

Currently:

- I posses a few very good friends, somewhat distancing myself from the rest.
- I am expanding my food horizon, having checked off Korean and Indian.
- I am volunteering with Habitat for Humanity.
- I have a journal, and I plan to fill it full with chicken scratch scribbles, meaningful as well as meaningless words, and pictures, sketches, etc.
- I'm reading books.. for fun.

I figured I hit the expiration date regarding a particular phase in my life. So I must be greatful for the opportunities and memories I had, accept they are no more, and move forward; thus planning to lengthen my list above.

There's no "out" in life, just dealing with it, adapting to it, and going through it.

Entailing Chasing

A good friend of mine told me:
"guys are like subway trains. Don't run after them, another one is on the way"

This can relate to both girls and guys.

When the train is leaving, why do we find the urge to chase after it? Obviously, it wasn't the train we were supposed to be on, and obviously, we won't be able to catch it.

Often times, we are so focused on something, want something so bad, we don't realize whether or not it's worth it. Is the plus really worth the minus?

My personal definition of chasing: Personal pursuit, no real chance to obtain.

Catching whatever is chased is not impossible, but it's difficult, it's dubious. I applaud those who stick it out, reaping the rewards.

Others like to be chased. Some more than others. We are built up, lured in, only to be left dumbfounded; A recurring cycle, effortless for the pursued.

Those who chase find it most difficult not to keep running, push through when it's hard, or give in when it's easy, but to stop, realize it's pointless and walk away with out regret.
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What drives the pursued to play such harsh and cruel games? Where is the pride in hurting others? Is it power? Is it the satisfaction of being wanted? Vengeance? It's unexplainable.

We can all admit to once being the victim and the villain. Can you ask yourself why?

- Why was/am I chasing? Was/will I be successful? Was/is this really worth it?
These questions you must answer for yourself, in complete honesty with intent to benefit yourself.

- Why did/do I like to be chased? Did/do I realize how my actions are affecting others? Did/do I plan on being "caught"?
These are questions you must answer yourself, in complete honesty with intent to benefit others.

I tend to make a cliche out of cliches. But two hovering lately, (having many variations) "You never know a good thing til it's gone" and "Wanting what you can't have". These of which I think are catalysts in "the chase".

Not knowing a good thing til its gone; A sad, but ugly truth that we fail to appreciate what we have, when we have it. Why is there a sudden epiphany once it's gone?? Blasphemy!

Wanting what we can't have; Exactly what chasing is. Why are we so drawn to it?

TheReality
The chasers: Know when enough's enough, learn to differintiate between when you have a chance, and when you don't.
The chased: At some point, the chasers will come to their senses and wait and chase no longer. Figure out what you want, or you'll be left with nothing at all.

Simple, literal, actual.

Entailing Judging, Profiling, etc.

A few days ago a friend confided regarding his/her sexuality and that he/she was attracted to the same sex.

As it turned out the significant other was in the same class as we were. I questioned why they weren't talking I was told
"we are trying not to make it obvious. People are just bitches about it"

Personally, I had no criticism or judgment in the matter, although some are apparently not as understanding. My response: Well I'm happy for you! You found someone who makes you happy which is rare these days. Let other people say/think what they want, do what makes you happy because that's all that really matters.

At times, the world is cruel and judgmental. Every topic imaginable attracts some sort of harsh critique or personal opinion/judgement.

Who are we to make assumptions about those we don't even know?

Each day we walk the town going about our daily routine, crossing paths with those we know, and those we do not.

- What do you really know about the girl in the coffee shop besides the letters on her name tag and the smile that appears to be forced?
- Do you know much about the elderly brisk-walker besides the fact he always walks alone?
- Why is that one professor always so uptight?
- Does that jock actually have it all together like he protrays?
- Why is that girl crying to herself in the bathroom during class?
- He's looks classy head to toe, why does the gentleman and his brief case wait for the bus each morning at promptly 8:05?

We encounter millions of people in our lifetime and sadly, make unfair assumptions without reason.

Don't you think that's unfair?

Our lives are stacked with our own mistakes, our own struggles, our own ways of coping. How is it we expect others to sympathize without doing so ourselves?

All credit themselves to being "more than meets the eye" but are ironically quick to profile/stereotype/assume/critize.

I recently took a field trip to the prison. A 25 year old spoke of his alcohol addiction and homocide of a 15 year old boy.

I'm sure a fair amount of my classmates made a harsh judgement right then and there. He killed a person, a near unforgivable crime.

As for myself, I noticed the long blinks and sighs as the haunting memory replayed in his head. I saw the pain in his eyes.

While a room of high school students sat before the prisoner, it was then i realized; until his breathless day, he will remain a prisoner to himself.

That alone we cannot relate to, therefore, we must cast our judgement aside.

I often catch myself saying htings about people I would not say if i had a few minutes to think about it.

I am quick to stop and remind myself "Do i really have a reason for this/that?" My answer most of the time, No.

We are all acutely aware we don't live perfectly, nor perfectly happy. It would be foolish so assume others do.

My point being, be careful of you wired thoughts and poisonous gossip, it may come back to haunt you. Consider any hardships of those you pass by, whether it is a friend, teacher, co-worker, or even a complete stranger.

For all: There is plenty to be aware of.
For Most: There is room for improvement.
For Some: There is need for a serious character revolution.

Ready. Set. Go

Entailing Pet Peeves

I think there is a common ground we all stand on in some aspects. They are the things for some reason bug us more than other things.

When they occur we find the sudden urge to shake our heads in displeasure, sigh heavily, and sometimes we let a little finger slip and mutter a choice word or two.

It seems we all have a "list".. and we always say "OMFG! That's my number one pet peeve!" right after we just said something else was our number one pet peeve too... but thats besides the point.
Pet peeves

Technology
1. Pandora
-Why can we only change the song a limited amount of times!? Talk about frustrating.
- Some songs don't even belong on the station I chose. Way to be an idiot Pandora!
2. Phones
-Why doesn't my phone spell taco? T9, You think it could spell that over mississippi.
-We enter the same words over and over and over, but still, our phones never spell them. T9, you suck.
3.Computers
-Dear computer, if you're so hitek, why are you so slow sometimes?
- I swear I am typing my password right, stop telling me it's wrong!
-"The page you have selected cannot be viewed at this time". Well why the heck not?!

Driving
1. Blinkers
- Leaving them on for 5 minutes after the turn has been made. Uh, are you deaf/blind?
- If they had used their blinker like they're supposed to, I could have gone/I wouldnt have come close to rear ending you!
2. "Bad asses"
- Sorry, but you're ridiculously loud bass doesn't make you cool, it's just annoying.
- So what, You have a big truck. Want a gold star?
- You drive 20 over the speed limit and then cut me off.. I hope you get a ticket!

Texting
1. Wording
- Seeing the letters "LOL" in a text makes me want to throw up. End of subject.
- Shortening things like "U" for you, "2" for to/too, etc. makes you sound ghetto. What kind of rush are you in that you can't use proper english?
2. Conversation
- Don't send one word texts, they're annoying. If you don't want to talk, then just say so.
- Conversation killers, just don't do it. Text like you're having an actual conversation, it's not that hard.

Eating
1. When it's in your mouth
-Please, chew with your mouth closed. That's more classy than showing me everything you're about to swallow.
-You're mom told you it was impolite to talk with your mouth full.. Ten years later, that's still true.
-No one likes a loud eater. Simple as that.

Words
1. Spelling
-Some words are hard to spell, sure. But the easy ones? Come on! Someone said the other day, "Sorry if i'm boaring you" -- Ohhh ya?? "Boaring me"? Pretty sure a boar is a pig buddy.
2. Vocabulary
-If you don't know what the word means, please don't try to make yourself sound smarter by using it. You usually end up using it in the wrong context, making yourself sound like an idiot.

Clothing
1. Girls
-Flaunting your cleveage doesnt make you sexy, just trashy.
-Butt cracks/thongs hanging from your jeans only makes people laugh and want to take pictures,then show you.
-Shirts that have sayings like "I love my boyfriend" or "kiss me!" aren't cute, they're childish.
2. Boys
-Sagging your jeans doesn't make you gangster, it makes you waddle.
-Wifebeaters don't show off your muscles. They make you look like you belong in a trailer park.
-Girl jeans belong on girls! No exceptions.

People in general
1.Getting Some
-No one really wants to know the play by play of what happened with you and your "other". It's gross.
-Not knowing the last name of the person you hooked up with. (Thats a new one in my book)How can you possibly not know their last name?!
2. Conceited Individuals
-Spilling your life story to someone you don't know. Well now that's just awkward.
-Fishing for compliments. Everyone will give you the compliment, but they probably won't even mean it but they just want you to shut up.
-Go ahead, talk about how much money/stuff you have. Some girl/guy will end up marrying you for money. Bummer.
-When people think they're always right. Holy hell, we're all wrong at some point, give it a rest!

BASICALLY, there are a plethora of things that get on our/my nerves. I could sit here all day and conjure up more, but I think that at this point I've gotten my point across.

I know pet peeves are annoying, but control you're anger, punch a pillow or something, not the plate on the counter, or you're little brother/sister next to you (Mom wouldn't approve). So laugh them off and realize, you have probably played a part in someone's pet peeve before.

Entailing Self

Earlier this week there was a post-it note stuck to the mirror in the girls bathroom at school.

"You are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you you aren't. You're awesome and there is always someone who loves you. Have a great day!"

Naturally I laughed. "How cliche" I thought. But still, how nice of the young lady to make the effort to make someone's day. I bet some girl needed that. Maybe that girl was me.

Often times our thoughts, actions and intentions are all for the good of other people. I am in no way saying that is a bad thing, although we tend to forget about ourselves.

We need to take into consideration our own well-being:

- Treat yourself to that donut you've been craving for weeks
- That new pair of jeans you've been eyeing for quite some time
- A night on the town with some good friends
- Bubble bath anyone?
- It's ok to cry
- Take a day off
- Dance in front of the mirror, it's underrated.
- Break from technology for a day; phone, computer, etc.
- Walk briskly away from the bad things
- Quickly approach the good
- Splurge a little
- Start that journal that's been lying around
- Get all dressed up for no reason at all
- It's true, heals make you feel pretty.
- Give that guy/girl your number
- Even if you suck, sing at the top of your lungs
- Have a night you just might not remember
- Chick flicks are fine, even for guys.

The possibilities are endless.

"Love yourself" the most cliche of all cliche's. But it seems like majority of the time, cliche's are true.

If you put a little more effort into yourself, you may come to realize life might seem a little better. Selfish isn't the right word, but rather premeditated; conscious of the quality of life.

Don't feel guilty to worry about yourself rather than other people for a while. When we lose sight of ourselves, somehow everything seems to fall out of line.

By all means you can still care and love on other people! I am not saying don't in the least.

Just remember the person you want to portray yourself to be starts within, and if you lack to take care of the good person you want to be, emotionally physically and psychologically, there will be nothing to show for.

So have fun, relax, go crazy; Whatever it takes to help restore your faith in yourself.

Entailing Control

Control: n. 1. power to direct or regulate.

This is the time where I discuss a concept many fail to come to terms with, myself convicted for the crime at times.

There comes a point, multiple times, in one's life where they no longer have control in a given situation. Being made the way we are, we find extreme discomfort when we cannot dictate every happening in our lives.

How can we possibly think we can control every situation?? Well, reality check, we can't!

Sometimes, there is just nothing you can do in the situation. When that happens, the easiest thing to do is separate yourself from whatever it may be, that is if it's giving you grief.

By changing up the situation, you can better it for yourself by controlling what you actually can control.

For instance:
1. Ice cream makes you sick lets say, simply eat brownies instead. It's not your fault ice cream makes you sick, but by eating brownies, you feel fine and most likely still extremely satisfied.
2. You're trying to squeeze in the turn lane but one car just can't sacrifice one car space. Out of your control, sure. You control the gas pedal right? Speed on up, scope out that gap and get on in there. Not only are you ahead of the car that wouldn't let you in, you'll probably make the light!
3. Douche bags in high school? Wow, that's a surprise. It's not your fault they deem it necessary to insult, ignore or possibly hate you. That's their problem. Strut you're stuff, make them realize you're not who they thought you were.

Have I made my point?

Long story short, if there is something or someone that is currently throwing lemons at you, pick them up and make the gosh dang lemonade.

We are responsible for the quality of our own lives. Quality being defined on a personal level; If you are happy with your life, who cares what everyone else thinks?

Jurassic 5 has a song called Quality Control, my favorite line being:
"My mental maneuver will clear and steer right through ya... I plant my dreams in the field and wait to harvest my skills"

Paraphrased:
Keep your head up and do what you do best.