There are three kinds of people:
- People who hate bros
- People who love bros
- Bros
How do you know which group you fall into? Well that's simple, follow this tutorial. Once you figure out your standing you'll be brolieved and won't have to stress anymore.
How to recognize a bro by sight:
1. You may notice that athletes wear jersey's during games, but if you're trying to spot a bro just look for the a guy wearing a jersey as casual wear.
2. If he's not in his jersey, he'll probably be in a semi-tight t-shirt. Don't make the mistake in thinking he bought it a size too small, his muscles probably just grew overnight and he didn't have time to buy a new one.
3. Can only see their feet? thats ok, they're probably wearing nike sport socks that go approximately mid shin. But dont worry, they'll match their high top nikes too, oh and his nike athletic shorts.
4. How to recognize him if he's not in his sporty nike shorts? Just look for his designer jeans, mommy probably picked them out and paid for them too.
5. If you're in gym, the bro is probably the one in a cut of t-shirt that's cut down to his hips on the sides. It's for ventilation?
6. A bro is never dirty (except at the gym) so look out for his clean cut hair, if its a bit longer, it's styled - even if it's "messy" - it's styled.
How to recognize a bro by what he says:
1. Bros usually speak to one person with intentions for everyone else to hear, so if you hear a guy talk about how wasted they were last weekend and he hooked up with three girls, it's probably a bro.
2. A bro's parents rarely know his behavior outside of the home, so if you hear a guy say, "Dude. I went home so high the other night and had to talk to my parents, but it was chill" - it's more than likely a bro.
3. Speaking of "dude" and "chill".. those are two primary words in a bro's vocabulary - and of course, "bro"
4. Bros usually like to make up their own words for things though, like changing "hooking up" to something like.. "shagged" and other (probably offensive) names for girls that are either ugly, hot, or their favorite - slutty.
5. If you ever hear the words "Gold's Gym" come out of a guy's mouth, he's a bro. Not every guy at Gold's is a bro, but every bro goes to Gold's - and they go together and cheer each other on while lifting weights.
6. If a bro isn't talking about partying, weed, or working out, he's probably talking about "chicks", that girl with the nice ass, or that slut he got with the other night - but can't remember her name.
7. Bro's usually hug a girl and when she walks away he tells his fellow bros about how annoying she is and she's "basically stalking" him
How to spot a bro by what he's doing
1. Bros attend every dance party (usually in jerseys)
2. Bros grind and thrust
3. Bros jerk, even when they're not at dance parties
4. He's probably friends with every girl at school, so if you see them same guy hugging a different girl everyday, he's probably a bro
5. A bro is never committed, he attracts "Bro Hoes" - groupie girls for the bro population
6. He's the one that walks up to you at a party, puts his arm around you and says, "Dude, i'm so f*cked up, are you f*cked up?"
Bro's have tendencies to either stand out, or - their defense mechanism, blend it with the modern day population of average people.
Bro-watching has become a favorable activity now-a-days, can you spot them?
3.31.2011
3.28.2011
Entailing: Things That Drive Us Crazy
Ever catch yourself in a moment where you literally feel like you might explode??
Kind of like an, "OHHHHH MY GOD" moment?
Or simply just beyond annoyed?
There are cases when it takes just about everything inside of us not to freak out and do exactly what we want to do..
Scenario: Whenever there is a baby crying and screamning in the grocery store
What I want to do: Walk up to the mom that isn't paying attention.. pick up her baby, put it in her hands, nod and walk away.
Scenario: About 7 people bump into me one after another
What I want to do: Go behind the last person who ran into me and give them a nice shove in the back.
Scenario: Someone chomping on their food like it was rocks
What I want to do: Smile at them, then take the rest of their food and throw it on the ground and stomp on it.
Scenario: A guy waddling down the street with his pants down to his knees
What I want to do: Pull them up reeeeeeeal high and tie them up.
Scenario: When someone says "Oh I heard something about you the other day, but I can't tell you"
What I want to do: Choke them.
Scenario: Teacher/Professor gives homework over the weekend/break
What I want to do: paper cut them with the work sheet and hit them in the head with the text book.
Scenario: When someone pulls out in front of me on the road and drives ungodly slow
What I want to do: Bumper cars anyone?
Scenario: When someone whispers "Shhhhhh!!" at me in class
What I want to do: Tell them to shut the #(*@ up because I'm almost positive they don't really care about the class.
Scenario: When you order something without tomatoes, or onions, or something like that.. and they are on your food
What I want to do: Nicely give them back.
Scenario: When a girl is wearing too much make up
What I want to do: Let her know it's not halloween and to save her mask for October
Scenario: When a waiter or waitress is rude to you for no reason
What I want to do: Remind them I'm the one tipping
Scenario: When someone is snoring and you can't fall asleep
What I want to do: Hit them as hard as I possibly can with a pillow and then pretend I'm still fast asleep when they wake up
Scenario: When someone you know keeps bragging about stupid things
What I want to do: Tell them no one cares.. at all.
Scenario: When someone says "like" or "um" every other word
What I want to do: Triple dog dare them not to say it anymore
Scenario: When someone is smoking a cigarette and blows smoke right in my walking path
What I want to do: Either take it out of their hands, take a wiff, and blow it back in their face OR overexaggeratingly cough in front of them for 3 minutes.
Scenario: When a coach tells you to run harder
What I want to do: Tell them to get their fat ass our there and do it
Scenario: When a couple is all over each other in public
What I want to do: Say, "Pardon me" and walk inbetween them.
There are just so many things that annoy us
- when the clothes we want to wear end up being in the washing machine
- when we get half way to where we need to be and realize we forgot something
- get into bed and then have to get up for something, and then it happens again
- having something to say, then forgetting, but then you remember... and forget again.
- grabbing the desk to scoot in your chair and you make contact with a nice piece of gum
- when birds poop on you're freshly washed car, or it rains
- plugging in your phone/ipod/laptop but then realize 30 minutes later it wasn't actually plugged into the wall so it didn't charge at all
- spending a lot of time on an assignment but then you're teacher doesn't make you turn it in
- staying up all night to work on a project you think is due the next day but it doesn't even end up being due
- doing the wrong assignment in your math book
- someone is taking their sweet time in the bathroom when you really have to go
- get in the shower and there is no hot water left
- you wake up three minutes before you alarm goes off
- see something in your kitchen, you get really excited to eat it, and the box ends up being empty
The list goes on and on and on.
We often say, "It's just one of those days" where it seems like just about any little thing could go wrong, has.
Not much can be said or done about, we just have to accept that these kind of days happen, and they suck. But no matter what, they pass.
Try to laugh them off, because when you hear about these sort of things happening to other people, lets be honest - we laugh.
Kind of like an, "OHHHHH MY GOD" moment?
Or simply just beyond annoyed?
There are cases when it takes just about everything inside of us not to freak out and do exactly what we want to do..
Scenario: Whenever there is a baby crying and screamning in the grocery store
What I want to do: Walk up to the mom that isn't paying attention.. pick up her baby, put it in her hands, nod and walk away.
Scenario: About 7 people bump into me one after another
What I want to do: Go behind the last person who ran into me and give them a nice shove in the back.
Scenario: Someone chomping on their food like it was rocks
What I want to do: Smile at them, then take the rest of their food and throw it on the ground and stomp on it.
Scenario: A guy waddling down the street with his pants down to his knees
What I want to do: Pull them up reeeeeeeal high and tie them up.
Scenario: When someone says "Oh I heard something about you the other day, but I can't tell you"
What I want to do: Choke them.
Scenario: Teacher/Professor gives homework over the weekend/break
What I want to do: paper cut them with the work sheet and hit them in the head with the text book.
Scenario: When someone pulls out in front of me on the road and drives ungodly slow
What I want to do: Bumper cars anyone?
Scenario: When someone whispers "Shhhhhh!!" at me in class
What I want to do: Tell them to shut the #(*@ up because I'm almost positive they don't really care about the class.
Scenario: When you order something without tomatoes, or onions, or something like that.. and they are on your food
What I want to do: Nicely give them back.
Scenario: When a girl is wearing too much make up
What I want to do: Let her know it's not halloween and to save her mask for October
Scenario: When a waiter or waitress is rude to you for no reason
What I want to do: Remind them I'm the one tipping
Scenario: When someone is snoring and you can't fall asleep
What I want to do: Hit them as hard as I possibly can with a pillow and then pretend I'm still fast asleep when they wake up
Scenario: When someone you know keeps bragging about stupid things
What I want to do: Tell them no one cares.. at all.
Scenario: When someone says "like" or "um" every other word
What I want to do: Triple dog dare them not to say it anymore
Scenario: When someone is smoking a cigarette and blows smoke right in my walking path
What I want to do: Either take it out of their hands, take a wiff, and blow it back in their face OR overexaggeratingly cough in front of them for 3 minutes.
Scenario: When a coach tells you to run harder
What I want to do: Tell them to get their fat ass our there and do it
Scenario: When a couple is all over each other in public
What I want to do: Say, "Pardon me" and walk inbetween them.
There are just so many things that annoy us
- when the clothes we want to wear end up being in the washing machine
- when we get half way to where we need to be and realize we forgot something
- get into bed and then have to get up for something, and then it happens again
- having something to say, then forgetting, but then you remember... and forget again.
- grabbing the desk to scoot in your chair and you make contact with a nice piece of gum
- when birds poop on you're freshly washed car, or it rains
- plugging in your phone/ipod/laptop but then realize 30 minutes later it wasn't actually plugged into the wall so it didn't charge at all
- spending a lot of time on an assignment but then you're teacher doesn't make you turn it in
- staying up all night to work on a project you think is due the next day but it doesn't even end up being due
- doing the wrong assignment in your math book
- someone is taking their sweet time in the bathroom when you really have to go
- get in the shower and there is no hot water left
- you wake up three minutes before you alarm goes off
- see something in your kitchen, you get really excited to eat it, and the box ends up being empty
The list goes on and on and on.
We often say, "It's just one of those days" where it seems like just about any little thing could go wrong, has.
Not much can be said or done about, we just have to accept that these kind of days happen, and they suck. But no matter what, they pass.
Try to laugh them off, because when you hear about these sort of things happening to other people, lets be honest - we laugh.
3.27.2011
Entailing: 10 Reasons Women Aren't Complicated At All
Men complain daily how it's virutally impossible to understand women.
In all honesty, we're not difficult to understand at all.
Boys, don't be hypocritical, like you're not attracted to the sluts?
Listen, a lot of guys are sweet and treat us well at the beginning.. Then, after time goes by, the guy turns into a douche bag.
Falling out of love is hard, even when you're not being treated right. We stick around and put up with the "douche bag" because we know deep down, the "nice guy" still exists.
At the end of the day, we want a nice guy, we're just willing to give the douche bags the benefit of the doubt.
Playing hard to get might not work with every guy, but it's a great way to filter out the ones who think we're worth their time, and the ones that don't.
If you tell us you love us, we'll actually believe what you're saying. Funny huh?
If you tell us we mean the world to us, you've got us fooled.
Warning: We remember way more than you do. So when it all comes down to it and our hearts are broken, it does feel like everything you said was a lie, because you probably didn't realize we paid such close attention to what you said.
Mean what you say, ok? If you don't mean it, keep your mouth shut. It's that simple.
It's ok, we really don't care if we text all day or care to know everything you're doing. We just want to make sure you're thinking about us, because we always do about you.
If you want to hang out with your friends, just tell us. Don't wait til' the break up and pull the "I never got to hang out with my friends" card. We have friends too, we're just more willing to sacrifice those nights.
We trust you, until you give us a reason not to. You bring that wrath upon yourself.
We're not mad at you that another girl is flirting with/creeping on you, we like that you have other friends that are girls, we just know how girls are.. go getters. If we ask you about it, we're probably just curious, not mad. So chill out!
We will do virtually anything for you, don't take advantage of it. We'll continue to do things even if we feel underappreciated.. but the frustration builds up, be careful.
You can't treat us the same way you treat your friends. We're not a dude, we don't like being hassled the way you hassle your boys.
Yes, we love it when you tell us we look pretty.
You think we're mad when we're not talking, it's probably because you aren't always listening when we talk, so we figure, "Why bother?"
DO NOT LIE. We'll probably never trust you again.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Sacrifice you're manhood and hold our hand in public; kiss us in front of your friends; give us a hug out of no where, etc.
Your friends might give you crap for 10 minutes, if at all, but it gets you more than 10 minutes of our love.
We HATE doing all the work and making all the decisions. Most the time it's ok, but come on, do it every once in a while!
The little things we fight about are actually probably about a bigger issue, take 3 minutes to think about what it might be: It's not that you didn't call, its that you said you would; we just want you to do what you say you're going to.. Get it?
Don't just sit there and say ok, we're sincerely trying to figure out an issue and make things better. Be a part of the conversation.
Just because a couple fights doesn't mean they're not happy, and just because a couple doesn't fight, doesn't mean they're happy. Ever thought of that?
Like I said, we believe things, so when you put on you're tough guy facade, we really think you could care less.
Fight for us, because we'd fight for you.
We generally give you more chances than you deserve because we know you're a good guy, we want to see him again..
But - unfortunately, if we don't see him soon enough, that's the end; it's all about consistancy.
Just because we call you out when you're being disrespectful or rude, doesn't make us a bitch.
If we're hanging out and you ask nicely, we'll probably make you a sandwhich - tell us to "get in the kitchen woman" and we'll probably slap you.
Don't call us bitches for refusing to let you walk all over us. Or you'll have no luck getting any girl, and we'll make sure of that.
If you're rude to your mom. If you can't treat the woman who gave birth to you right, what makes us think you can treat us right? - turn off.
If you've ever cheated on a girl - turn off.
The second you put smoking, drinking, or any kind of drug before us - turn off.
If you can't have a good time sober - turn off.
If you're randomly hooking up with a girl, don't try to have sex with her. Believe it or not, most of us want to love the guy we do that with.
If it's after midnight and you ask us to hang out - you might as well say, want to hook up? We're not stupid.
Sometimes we actually like to watch the movie playing.....
Honestly, don't ask a girl to go down on you. It's gross and if we wanted to, we'll do it on our own. Thanks.
Treat us right.
Be respectful and respectable.
Be considerate, don't be creepy.
Tell the truth, not lies.
Love us and listen to us.
Be the nice guy who loves us & we love him.
Not the douche who breaks our hearts, or the one we leave.
In all honesty, we're not difficult to understand at all.
Lets start with the first topic: "The Douche vs. The Nice Guy"Guys assume that girls always go for the "douche bag" and not the "nice guy".
Boys, don't be hypocritical, like you're not attracted to the sluts?
Listen, a lot of guys are sweet and treat us well at the beginning.. Then, after time goes by, the guy turns into a douche bag.
Falling out of love is hard, even when you're not being treated right. We stick around and put up with the "douche bag" because we know deep down, the "nice guy" still exists.
At the end of the day, we want a nice guy, we're just willing to give the douche bags the benefit of the doubt.
Topic number two, "Playing Hard to Get"Every girl is terrified of getting her heart broken, plain and simple. It's better not to rush.
Playing hard to get might not work with every guy, but it's a great way to filter out the ones who think we're worth their time, and the ones that don't.
Topic number three, "Mind over matter"Yes, we more than likely will believe almost everything you tell us.
If you tell us you love us, we'll actually believe what you're saying. Funny huh?
If you tell us we mean the world to us, you've got us fooled.
Warning: We remember way more than you do. So when it all comes down to it and our hearts are broken, it does feel like everything you said was a lie, because you probably didn't realize we paid such close attention to what you said.
Mean what you say, ok? If you don't mean it, keep your mouth shut. It's that simple.
Topic three, "How We Treat You"It freaks a guy out when a girl starts to care too much. Don't be worried that we care too much, worry when we start to not care at all.
It's ok, we really don't care if we text all day or care to know everything you're doing. We just want to make sure you're thinking about us, because we always do about you.
If you want to hang out with your friends, just tell us. Don't wait til' the break up and pull the "I never got to hang out with my friends" card. We have friends too, we're just more willing to sacrifice those nights.
We trust you, until you give us a reason not to. You bring that wrath upon yourself.
We're not mad at you that another girl is flirting with/creeping on you, we like that you have other friends that are girls, we just know how girls are.. go getters. If we ask you about it, we're probably just curious, not mad. So chill out!
We will do virtually anything for you, don't take advantage of it. We'll continue to do things even if we feel underappreciated.. but the frustration builds up, be careful.
Topic four "How We Want You to Treat Us"Say thank you, say please. It means more than you think.
You can't treat us the same way you treat your friends. We're not a dude, we don't like being hassled the way you hassle your boys.
Yes, we love it when you tell us we look pretty.
You think we're mad when we're not talking, it's probably because you aren't always listening when we talk, so we figure, "Why bother?"
DO NOT LIE. We'll probably never trust you again.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Sacrifice you're manhood and hold our hand in public; kiss us in front of your friends; give us a hug out of no where, etc.
Your friends might give you crap for 10 minutes, if at all, but it gets you more than 10 minutes of our love.
We HATE doing all the work and making all the decisions. Most the time it's ok, but come on, do it every once in a while!
Topic five, "Fights"We don't like fighting either, but we can't stand bottling up our emotions as long as you can.
The little things we fight about are actually probably about a bigger issue, take 3 minutes to think about what it might be: It's not that you didn't call, its that you said you would; we just want you to do what you say you're going to.. Get it?
Don't just sit there and say ok, we're sincerely trying to figure out an issue and make things better. Be a part of the conversation.
Just because a couple fights doesn't mean they're not happy, and just because a couple doesn't fight, doesn't mean they're happy. Ever thought of that?
Topic number six, "When We've Had Enough"When we say we're walking away, we want you to give us a reason to stay; not a reason to look back and reconsider for half a second. Because once you're back to the same old ways, we're up and at it leaving again.
Like I said, we believe things, so when you put on you're tough guy facade, we really think you could care less.
Fight for us, because we'd fight for you.
We generally give you more chances than you deserve because we know you're a good guy, we want to see him again..
But - unfortunately, if we don't see him soon enough, that's the end; it's all about consistancy.
Topic number 7 "Bitches"Just because we stand up for ourselves, our friends, and our morals, doesn't make us a bitch.
Just because we call you out when you're being disrespectful or rude, doesn't make us a bitch.
If we're hanging out and you ask nicely, we'll probably make you a sandwhich - tell us to "get in the kitchen woman" and we'll probably slap you.
Don't call us bitches for refusing to let you walk all over us. Or you'll have no luck getting any girl, and we'll make sure of that.
Yup, still goin - Topic number eight, "Turn off's"We all make fun of people, but the second you start to make fun of someone for a reason they cannot control, e.g. handicapped people, gay people, etc. - turn off.
If you're rude to your mom. If you can't treat the woman who gave birth to you right, what makes us think you can treat us right? - turn off.
If you've ever cheated on a girl - turn off.
The second you put smoking, drinking, or any kind of drug before us - turn off.
If you can't have a good time sober - turn off.
Topic number nine, "Hooking Up"If we hook up, why are you the pimp and we're the slut?
If you're randomly hooking up with a girl, don't try to have sex with her. Believe it or not, most of us want to love the guy we do that with.
If it's after midnight and you ask us to hang out - you might as well say, want to hook up? We're not stupid.
Sometimes we actually like to watch the movie playing.....
Honestly, don't ask a girl to go down on you. It's gross and if we wanted to, we'll do it on our own. Thanks.
Topic number ten, "Get it now?"Girls are really not that hard to understand.
Treat us right.
Be respectful and respectable.
Be considerate, don't be creepy.
Tell the truth, not lies.
Love us and listen to us.
Be the nice guy who loves us & we love him.
Not the douche who breaks our hearts, or the one we leave.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)