Life can be f*cking great sometimes.
And sometimes. It's not.
Just a heads up:
My blogs aren't meant to hurt anyone.
Rarely is what I write directed at one person.
The things I write about come from experience- experiences other people have been, or are, going through also.
If you have such a strong opinion against what I'm saying- start your own blog.
If what I say bugs you- don't read it.
My apology:
Years ago, I felt invisible, and like no matter what I did, it didn't matter. Slowly, with a lot of work- things were ok again. But it's left a lot of scars- and affected how I am in relationships, and with other people.
When I'm ignored, or when someone doesn't want to talk to me, I feel like I did something wrong.
So if I'm controlling, I'm sorry.
I hate when people are rude and make fun of other people, especially in public.
So if I'm bitchy, I'm sorry.
I have a hard time trusting people. I will ask the same questions over and over, just to make sure.
So if I'm annoying, I'm sorry.
I over think- but it seems like a lot of the time I'm right.
So what I say seems irrelevant/crazy, I'm sorry.
Once someone plays a big role in my life I want them to stay, and it makes it harder when they don't want to.
So if I'm pushy, I'm sorry.
I go above and beyond for the people I care about. I don't demand anything in return, even if it seems like it.
So if I seem expecting, I'm sorry.
When someone doesn't want to be around me anymore, I want to know every single reason why, even if it doesn't seem like they should matter.
So if I nag, I'm sorry.
When I'm hurt, I like to talk about it, because if I don't it builds up- and I like hearing other people's opinions and advice.
So if I whine, I'm sorry.
I don't think that sarcasm is always necessary. I believe that there's a time when you should be considerate of what you're saying.
So if seem butt hurt, I'm sorry.
I'm tend to think about the things I could have, and should have done differently, and I want to that person about it- even if they don't want to hear it.
So if I annoy you, I'm sorry.
I have a hard time with pain. And I cling to those who are, or were, there for me- even if they are the ones hurting me.
So if I don't give you space, I'm sorry.
I hate opening up to new people, because it's one more person that can hurt you. So when I open up to someone- they become important to me.
So if it seems like I'm clingy, I'm sorry.
I have insecurities like most, but overall, I'm pretty confident in who I am. I'm just not always confident that other people like me.
So if I seem insecure, I'm sorry.
I believe things easily, especially the things I want to hear. And then when I find out the truth, it hurts me.
So if seem sensitive, I'm sorry.
I don't believe that love or friendship can disappear just like that.
So if I don't stop trying, I'm sorry.
I try to take criticism well, and listen to what people are saying, and work on it- but I hate being the only person trying to make things work.
So if I seem stuck in my ways, I'm sorry.
I get worried when people start to become distant from me- and become closer with someone else. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough.
So if I seem jealous, I'm sorry.
I prefer to put things in the past, but some things takes time, and brokenness doesn't heal over night.
So if it seem like I'm holding a grudge, I'm sorry.
I don't always realize if what I'm saying has a strong affect on someone.
So if I seem inconsiderate, I'm sorry.
The harsh reality:
The people you thought will always be there for you, might not be.
The people who told you they'd always love you, probably won't.
Not everyone will like you.
Some people hate us for no reason.
Don't make someone your life, because more than likely they won't make you theirs.
No matter how much you do for someone, at the end of the day- they will still have their own opinion about you.
The harder you try to keep someone in your life, the more you push them away.
Life is just as predictable as the weather; it's not.
We won't always see eye-to-eye with someone, and that can make or break things.
People change, and not always for the better. Maybe better for them, but not for you.
When you don't think it can get worse, it can. But it can also get better.
Good memories aren't enough to keep someone around, but bad ones are enough to make them leave.
No matter how many cute outfits you buy or how many pounds you lose, you can't make someone love you.
No matter how much money you make, it won't buy you happiness.
Your attitude is a big part in things, but sometimes no matter how hard you try, things are still hard.
A lighter reality:
Hitting rock bottom means you have no where to go but up.
Feeling like you have no one means you can go meet anyone.
Feeling like you are nothing means you have a lot of room for improvement.
Feeling like you have nothing means you can do anything, and not leave anything behind to regret leaving.
Feeling like you're living in complete darkness means it will only take a small light to brighten things.
Even if it feels like time is moving slowly, it means you're slowly improving.
And that my friends, is reality.
