5.28.2011

Entailing: Then & Now

It's funny to look back on your life a year ago, and compare it to where you are now.

The time flies, but so much happens.

For some, it's been a year of happiness- for others, a struggle.

Either way, the time has gone by, and we've made it to this point; still breathing, still alive.

Do I remember what I was doing last year on May 28, 2010? Fat chance.

On May 28, 2012 will I remember what I'm doing right now? It's highly unlikely.

How often do we actually remember exactly what we were doing, and even more-so, what we were thinking?

I don't know about you readers, but sometimes I wonder if I'll ever remember exactly what I was thinking at this exact moment. I like to pretend I can, but come on.. I can't. haha.

Although, I've come to realize- We remember the most when we felt the most. Whether it's happiness, or sorrow, and oddly, a few sporadic things here and there.

This time last year, I was getting ready to graduate, committed to Northwest College in little ol' Powell, Wyoming for soccer, getting over a boy, and ready to get out of this place.

Where am I now?

I'm back in Salt Lake City, sitting in the room I deserted for 5 months, signing up for my sophomore year classes at the University of Utah, and yes, getting over another boy.

This time last year, I never would have thought I'd be back home, doing what I'm doing now.

When I thought about that, it sort of upset me.. This isn't what I planned for.

But then.. I realized, this time next year I could be doing something completely different, just like last year to now; and the fact that I have absolutely no idea what that is, is exciting- and to be honest, somewhat relieving.

I've realized I always try to make a plan for things, because if I plan, I know exactly what's going to happen and what to expect, therefore I can avoid disappointment.

Today, I came to the sudden realization- nothing I had planned on happening, happened- and the things I hadn't planned on, did. So frankly, why plan?

The things we want to do in life shouldn't be written on a piece of paper with a pen- they should be written on a white board- no scratching, no guilt; we can just change it real quick, and if we change our minds 5 minutes later, we don't have to say, "Ahhh.. but I just wrote that!".

Because after all, the things we want are always changing, right?

Oh, the things that can happen in a year. It's not the same as the things that can happen in a day, or even a month!

In a year, you can fall in love, and fall out of love.
you can't fall in and out of love in a day
Or even a month- not real love.
Psychologists did a study that said a crush lasts a maximum of 4 months- if it exceeds that, it's love.

In a day, you can forget to brush your teeth.
I hope and pray someone won't forget to brush their teeth for a month
and heaven forbid a year.

In a month, every leaf can change colors.
in a day? maybe one or two.
in a year, they fall off, bloom, and change colors.

In a year, you can be fine, break a bone, and be perfectly fine again.
in a day, you break it.
in a month, it's only healing.

In a month, everyday happens once.
in a day, it's only today!
and in a year, they happen 12 times!

In a day, it could be cloudy all day.
But it's very unlikely for it to be cloudy all month
and all year.

See what I mean? There is just something about a year from then and now that seems so significant.

I bet you couldn't count how many people you met in the last year.

I bet you couldn't count how many showers you took in the last year.

I bet you couldn't count how many homework assignments you procrastinated.

I bet you couldn't count how many times you said 'I love you'.

I bet you couldn't count how many times you hit 'snooze' on your alarm.

I bet you couldn't count how many times you ate a banana.

I bet you couldn't.

And that's a good thing- because if you walked around tallying everything- you'd be wasting your time tracking things instead of doing them.

The hardest part, is looking back, and wishing some of the things were still the same.

But you have to look at it this way, if you were fine before they happened, you have the ability to be ok when they end.

Some people will graduate high school this year, sad that it's over- and in a year, wonder why it ever even mattered in the first place.

While others will have already graduated a year back, not caring when it happened- and wishing they could go back.

Some people will graduate from college this year because they wanted to start their career- and in a year, from their cubicle, wish they would've enjoyed it while they could have.

While others will drop out of school and party their life away this year- and in a year, wishing they would've stuck with it.

Some people will get married this year- and in a year, get a divorce.

While others got a divorce last year- and finally met the real love of their life, or realized, the person they had, is actually the person they want.

Time keeps moving along, even if we want it to stop.

The clock keeps ticking, even if we want it to slow down.

So don't stop, and don't slow down.

Because in a year that will be now, and today will just be another then.