I was asked by a friend to write about life as a new college student and many times to write something new by avid readers.
I cannot express how many times I sat myself down, failing.
I felt all who were reading this wanted to hear the same thing; Life is great, these are going to be the best years yet, a wonderful experience.
Finally, I realized my diffuculty writing was not due to writers block, but simply because I wasn't telling the truth.
Our whole lives are built around these ideas of what high school and college will be like. We paint a picture in our minds of exactly what it will be like.
For 18 years we plan to ditch the town we grew up in and head out on our own to make a name for ourselves, because that's the mature and adventurous thing to do right?
Wrong.
I would be lying if I was to say I haven't learned anything.
I have learned just because we are out of high school, doesn't mean the high school is out of us.
Drama fueled bitches simply won't stop being drama fueled bitches when they recieve a high school diploma, or a college degree for that matter.
We are influenced heavily by those around us, more or less a domino effect, whether or not we are aware it's happening.
If you are talking behind somebody's back it's nearly guarenteed someone is talking about you behind yours.
No body is immune to karma.
When you are surrounded by negative influences, you are challenged wholly to stand up for what you believe in. Whether or not that means speaking up or merely remaining silent and walking away.
It's common to hear, "The friends you meet in college will be the people you will be friends with the rest of your life.." Well, I believe that is not true for everyone.
Meeting friends in college is easy, but what happens when you run out of booze, weed, condoms? Are they still your friends? It's questionable.
I came into this new stage of life completely blinded, and now I see clearer than ever. Although, I didn't realize how blind I was until I began to see.
Now, I can sit myself down and admit I was wrong. I came in with a list of expectations, none of which have been checked off.
My time here has been quite the experience, just not the one I wanted. Not even close.
This is entirely my fault, but therefore it's my responsibility to fix it.
I can beat myself up about staying in every night and being "anti-social", or I can applaud myself for steering clear of the unhealthy lifestyles that lurk around campus. I can commend myself for not compromising my ethics in order to 'fit in', which is a skewed concept anyway.
What have I learned from being here? This life just isn't for me.
I have fallen for the cliche, "Do what makes you happy", and this isn't it.
I have learned to find what makes you happy, you must learn what doesn't.
I may be called a wimp, a baby, a wuss, I may be accused of 'not giving it a chance', although, I'm not the one with my head up my ass.
I am one step closer to success because I have realized what works for me and what does not.
I have discovered little new about myself, but a lot about others. But, I came here to learn, mature and grow as a person, not degrade others around me and definitely not to degrade myself.
We do not learn without experience, and we cannot experience until we take a chance.
Do not feel like a failure if things don't go according to plan. Nothing great was ever achieved the first time around.
Its like learning to bake cookies from scratch; They turn out bad, but you figure out what went wrong, change it, and have at it again until they turn out the way you want them.
Powell, Wyoming just happened to be the wrong ingredient in my batch of cookies.
Therefore, Salt Lake City, see you in December.
