4.16.2011

Entailing: Booty Calls, Babes, & Bitches

"Do your parents let you out of the house looking like that?"  People say it sarcastically, but really.. for some girls - Do they really?!

Looks

The Bottoms

Jeans:
- Buying a pair of jeans that is 2-3 sizes too small for you doesn't make you look skinnier, it just looks like you're wearing a pair of pants that are too small for you.
- Sagging your pants is for boys. Enough said.
- Sure, everyone flashes a little butt crack every now and then, but when half your ass is hanging out, you need a belt.
- When you have more holes than fabric, it's time for a new pair.

Shorts:
-No matter if you're skinny or.. not skinny, no one wants to see a girl try to fit into a pair of shorts that are too small.
- No one wants to see your butt hanging out the back
- You know your size, stick in that range.

Skirts:
- Please, for the love of God, wear something under it other than just a thong. It's doesn't make you sexy, it just makes you easy.
- Don't wear it so high when you bend over or if there's a slight breeze, the whole world suddenly knows your underwear color.
- A pencil skirt that's too small for you is like looking at a 300 lb. man try to fit in a kiddie sized sleeping bag.

The Tops

- Girls wear tight shirts, but if you can see the entire outline of your bra - it's too tight.
- Boobs are tough to hide, but come on, no nip slips, you can at least manage that.
- Don't wear a white shirt and black bra; can you say trashy?
- See through shirts are meant to be worn with something underneath, ok?
- If your low-cut shirt shows more than it should, be classy enough to put at least a sports bra on underneath.
- I don't know when shirts with holes all down the back became trendy, but they're ugly.

The Bras & Undies

Bras:
- First off, actually wear a bra. RT through your t-shirt isn't scandalous, it's just disgusting.
- Weather you have small boobs, or giant boobs, buy a bra that fits you. Nothing is worse than when a guy thinks you have big ones, takes off the bra and realizes it was fake!
- Don't wear something to show off your hot pink bra, if you're wearing a white t-shirt, wear a neutral bra. No one cares what color you're wearing; you just look like white trash if your bra stands out over the rest of your outfit.

Undies:
- If you don't wear underwear.. that's your choice, but don't walk around telling people. geeeez.
- If you wear leggings, for Pete's sake, wear a thong. Panty lines are yucky.
- If you wear thongs, make sure they aren't hanging out. you're a skankity skank skank if you know it is and don't do anything about it!
- If your pants are even the slightest bit transparent, don't wear patterned or bright undies - so noticeable.

The Hair

- Do not rat your hair to the point it literally looks like a bird could house its family in there.
- Making a poof bump, or whatever, is weird. Don't make it look like you've got a bump it in there. If it doesn't look natural, it shouldn't be there.
- Streaking your hair looks like a skunk gave you fashion advice..
- There is nothing worse than bad extensions.
- Whats the deal with dying one strand of hair a bizarre color?

The Make-up

- If your face is a different color than the rest of your body, you're wearing too much make up.
- If you look like a baby doll (unnaturally rosy cheeks, red lips, etc.), you're wearing too much make up.
- If the one time you don't wear make up, at least one person doesn't recognize you, you wear too much make up.
- Eye liner belongs on the the eyes, not below your eye and half way passed it into swirls and streaks.
- Eye LINEr... get it, a line? No more; don't thicken it on.
- There's a difference between mascaraed eye lashes, and clumped eye lashes. Know when to stop!
- Eye brows aren't mean to be penciled on, that's all.

The Tattoos

- The tramp stamp literally means exactly what it says.
- A bad tattoo is like a car accident: noticeable and everyone slows down to look at it

Personality

The Language:

Swearing:
Everybody can swear, just because you do, doesn't make you any cooler.
- Walking around calling everybody "bitches" isn't a term of endearment
- Swear around your girl friends, at least clean it up a bit around other people - It's trashy when a girl swears like a sailor, or a boy.

Like, Oh My God!:
- If you want people to think you're intelligent, speak that way.
- Saying "like" every other word and sounding like a valley girl will only get the nick name, dumb blond, no matter what color your hair is.
- Drawing out your vowels makes you sound stupid, "Waaaaaaait, whaaaaaaat? Oooooh my.."
- Don't try to use words  you don't understand, there will more than likely be someone who actually knows what the word means, and you'll look like an idiot.
- Saying words like, "Betch" and "Hells ya" is nothing but annoying.

Attitude

- If you roll your eyes when people are talking, people will think you're a bitch.
- Make fun of other people for no reason, people will think you're a bitch.
- If you have hissy fits over nothing and make a scene, people will think you're a bitch.
- If you strut around and think you're cooler than everyone else, people will think you're a bitch.
- If you tell people off on a daily basis, you're probably a bitch.

Get Some

- There is a fine line between being flirty and nice, and being a skank about it.
- Kissing random boys was cute when you were in pre-school, it's slutty now.
- If you get with every guy and his brother, expect to hear jokes about yourself being the town bicycle and everyone gets a ride; reap the consequences of your actions.
- Talking about how you got with two guys the other night and didn't have protected sex makes you sound like a good time.. as long as your tongue does the talking.

Party Time

- If you've had one shot, you're not drunk. So stop acting like it.
- Don't stumble around telling every guy how drunk you are, it's pathetic.
- Guys probably get with you because you're slammed, not because you're a nice girl.
- No one wants you to sway over to the ipod and play "California Gurls" or Justin Beiber at the party, your music choice blows.
- Don't scream "Woooooooh!" all the time and hold up the beer you've been working on all night.
- A handful of other girls there will probably hate you - not because they're jealous, but because you're making a fool of yourself.
 - The second you fall, laugh, and reach for your best friend and pull her down too: everyone thinks you're retarded.
- Smoking cigarettes never has been, and never will be, attractive.

The Boyfriend

- Not every girl is trying to steal your boyfriend, chill out.
- If you're hanging out with other guys, don't constantly bring up your boyfriend in every subject.
- Don't make every post about him on facebook or twitter, good or bad, its corny/immature.
- If you have a boyfriend, don't lose friends over it

The Gossiper

- If others hear you talk shit about someone else, what makes you think they won't talk about you behind your back?
- If you're rude, conceited, slutty, etc. don't flatter yourself and say people talk about you because they're jealous, because they aren't. They sincerely think you're rude, conceited, slutty, etc.

Basically, girls - you are what you make yourself out to be. The word on the street isn't always true, and you have the right to wear what you want to wear and act how you want to act, but in the end, hands down, the classy girl wins.

6 comments:

  1. omg lizz, you are so right. everyone should take your advice because you know EVERYTHING about fashion and sluts.
    Or how to be judgmental.

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  2. i didnt say anything about fashion sense. i said keep you underwear in your pants, your boobs in your shirt, and your tongue out of every guys tongue in school. personally, i think most people should agree. thanks for you comment, keep them coming - they don't bug me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm not trying to bug you. I think you are a good writer, I just don't understand why you feel the need to let your writing and time go to this. Open up the book and you might find something interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  4. open up the book...? what does that even mean. but ok, i think you're the only one who is hating on it, so thats a bit confusing.

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  5. This is a bit judgmental.... A lot of the things you say are right. But I agree, you're smart, so write about things that are intriguing instead of telling people how to live their life.

    ReplyDelete